One Year Ago Today...

...I was a very pregnant woman.  It was also my "official" due date for Mr. Belvedere, whatever due dates mean.


If I had known last year what I know now, I would have done several things differently.  I certainly don't have regrets about the last year; I'm just armed with experience and information.


First of all, I would have slept more after Weston was born.  Women said to me, "Sleep when the baby sleeps," and I didn't listen to that very well.  Mistake.  Sleep deprivation is an ugly thing, and it doesn't help with the postpartum emotional roller coaster.  One nap during the day doesn't cut it when dealing with a newborn.


I also think moving out of state and starting a new job four months after having a baby isn't advisable.  Having a baby is traumatic enough--no sense in adding more chaos.  However, we were going to move anyway, and it was inevitable.


I can't really speak about what happened to my body after having a baby, other than it's not the same, and I can't really expect anything other than that.  I've said it before--clothes fit differently and everywhere is "mushier."  I'd love to get a membership to the gym again and go on a consistent basis, but somehow 24 hours in a day doesn't seem to allot for that at the present moment.


It's hard to believe how my life has changed in the past year, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Not even a flat belly.


By the way, here's my most recent favorite boy band:

My Queasy Stomach

No, I'm not expecting another baby...

I just want to know when that horrible feeling I get of weak knees and a queasy stomach will go away.  You know, the one I get whenever Weston is crawling too fast on concrete and I visualize him face planting, or when he's about to topple over off the deck into a pine bush because he came too close to the edge?

Yeah.  That feeling.  Am I cursed with this because I'm a mother now?  Is it worse because he's a boy?  It happens most frequently when concrete is below him.  Will it get better when he's mastered walking?

Yuck.

Spring Has Sprung

I still can't get a video of him walking, so in the meantime, these will have to suffice:

Shoving houska into his mouth on Easter

Mmmm...butter

A momma's boy

Playing on our deck

Having tea with Dad

At the Cinci Conservatory

Vitamin D!

Where's Dada's nose?

Happy Eleven Months!

This past month has been busy!  We're getting settled in our new home while trying to baby-proof...  Nate's mom and her husband came to visit last weekend, and now my mom is here.  Weston's been testing out his first steps, too!  He took his first steps on March 18, and these past few days, he's been experimenting with walking.  He's gotten about 6 steps in before toppling over.

He also did his first sign yesterday: more!
I don't mean to act like a zookeeper trying to get my little mammal to do tricks as I throw him chunks of fruit, but it was the only way to get him to do it so I could video it.

Seven teeth

It was also time to give Weston his first haircut.  His bangs were down past his eyebrows.  Right before bath on a warm 75 degree day, three adults attempted to cut his hair.  My mother was the stylist, Nate held him, and I photographed while trying to distract him.  What a chore.  It turned out pretty good--we had to touch up the front the following day.

How to Get Him to Sleep Through the Night

Oh my.  It only took me about 10 months to do it, but Weston's been regularly sleeping through the night for well over a month now.  I've read books, other's blogs, and all sort of things to figure out how to get him to stop waking up between 11pm and 2am to nurse.  Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child is a great book (but very poorly written--the guy needs an editor) to understand the physiological part of sleeping.  It mentions that after 9 months, babies don't need to eat during the night.  My problem?  He was eating every time I offered, so I figured he was hungry.  And he's not a fat baby by any means, so the mother in me kept going in to feed him because on some level I was afraid he would waste away.

Here's how the habit forms...He nurses when I offer, so then he wakes up the next night because he knows that last night he got to eat when he woke up.  And Mom won't refuse.

Weston: 1.  Mom: 0

But, then I started to get the feeling that he wasn't really that hungry.  He would nurse just a little bit to fall back asleep.  Besides, he had slept through the night before on a handful of occasions.  That's when it sunk in that I had created this habit.

He was expecting me to be there to feed him when he woke up.  There were many times when we tried to let him cry it out, but after 45 minutes of listening to a hysterical baby at 2 am, I couldn't do it.  And then when I saw a broken blood vessel in his eye one morning afterward, I felt horrible.  I know, the cry-it-out method says to let them be, but I really couldn't do it.  We let him cry himself to sleep for nap, but that lasts all of 10 minutes.

The night we moved into our new house, this was my plan: when he cried, I let him do so for 5 minutes.  Then, I went into his room and instead of picking him up to comfort him, I sat down on the floor and put my head next to the mattress and calmly told him, "You can do it.  You can calm down."  He stood at the crib railings, wailing out of frustration, but after about 3 minutes, he actually sat down and put his head on my hand and continued to cry.  I kept talking to him quietly and then he gradually toppled over and laid down, still crying, but not entirely unwilling to give this whole new thing a shot.  Rubbing his back and telling him that I believed he could do it, I stayed in there until he fell asleep.

The next two nights were the same thing.  Then it started to get a little harder.  He wouldn't calm down as quickly and if he laid down, he would get up again and wail at the railings.  I had to keep believing in him and the fact that he could indeed do this (thank you to Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman), and I would tell him that in a calm voice while trying to squeeze my arms through the crib railings as I would pat his back.

I'd say it was about a solid week of going into his room and "talking him down."  He had several nights of uninterrupted sleep, and then one or two more relapses, but since then, he's been sleeping from about 6:30 pm to 6 am!!  He still takes a morning nap and afternoon nap, too.

Now I need to figure out how to get me to sleep through the night...  Old habits die hard.

Saying No

This is Weston's latest thing...shaking his head no.  Thankfully, he doesn't use it to mean "no," so it's still cute.

I can't figure out how to turn the video, so you'll have to crane your neck.  Sorry.




I love how he pauses to rest after several rounds.

Happy Ten Months!

Weight: 21 lbs. 8 oz.
Height: ~31 in.

Weston's enjoying our new house, especially the stairs...  We didn't have stairs at our apartment, so they are quite an attraction. We have a nice little park near by, and we've gone many times since we've moved here.  He loves watching all the kids run around, and he's even made a friend, Ruby, a little girl who's about 5 months older than he.  She can walk and frequently comes over to pet Weston's head.  It's adorable.

The same six teeth that he got when he was 6 months old...nothing new since then

We're pretty sure that his word for "water" sounds something very similar to "daughter daughter."  He only says "mama" when he's crying, but will say "dada" all the time.

 Oh!  Did I tell you that he's been sleeping through the night for about 3 weeks now???!!??  That will be another post all on its own, but I feel like a new woman.

Going after the keys

His latest thing is holding a ball in his hand for most of the day.  He crawls around with it in his fist, making him look like he's got a peg leg.

Puff the Magic Dragon

I recently selected Peter, Paul and Mary on my Pandora music station while I was feeding Weston dinner.  I thought it would give him some good music to digest his dinner.  What he wasn't expecting was for his mom to burst into tears.


Let me back up about twenty years...  My sister and I spent every weekend with my dad when we were growing up after my parents divorced.  My dad was a creature of habit and when he liked something, he tended to always go back to it.  He loved Peter, Paul and Mary and had a double cassette called In Concert that we listened to ALL. THE. TIME. in his car.  I think my sister and I could sing the entire album if given the chance.


Anyway, when the beautiful children's song Puff, the Magic Dragon would come on, my dad would oftentimes tear up.  I never really understood why, until he explained the lyrics to me.  Basically, the story is about Puff and his playmate Jackie Paper, a little boy who eventually grows up and loses interest in the imaginary adventures of childhood.  Eventually, Puff dies without Jackie Paper around to believe in him.




My dad was a sensitive guy...


Back to 2012.  I'm feeding Weston dinner and Pandora chooses to play this song, and I start singing to Weston.  Out of nowhere, I start bawling.  I'm trying to sing along, but my throat is tight and tears are rolling down my face.  I keep thinking about my dad who passed away in October of 2010 when I was 3 months pregnant with Weston, and how unfair it is that he and Weston never met.  I'm actually irate about this--resentful at the whole situation.  And I'm surprised, too, that I'm feeling this way.


I don't think about my dad all day long and continue to mourn his passing.  I do, however, think about him throughout the week at all sorts of different times, and I especially love it when I have dreams about him.  When those happen (and I wish I had more dreams about him), I try so hard to hold on to them because they fade so quickly as the day wears on.  I still am tempted from time to time to hold down the number 5 on my phone and call him to relay the latest  funny thing that Weston did...


I still haven't deleted his name and number from my phone.

New Home!

Weston's lived in four different places since he's been born, and yet he's not quite 10 months old. But this time, we're here to stay...
 

Smelling the Roses

First Valentine's Day

It takes a lot to be a parent--especially a working mom.  I'm finding that it takes deliberate actions on my part to just slow down and enjoy the whole process--from when he wakes up in the morning to the middle of the night feeding.

After nursing Weston, it's way too easy to come home from work, and immediately afterward entertain all the frantic thoughts in my head--"I need to take care of the breast pump stuff before the milk spoils." or "How in the world did a Cheerio get over here?  I need to vacuum." or "When's the last time I did laundry?" or "Yikes!  Did I pay the credit card bill?"  I have to consciously forget about all those things and just spend time on the floor reading Birthday Monsters forward and backward and having Weston climb all over me and pull my hair out and scratch my nose.  He's only 9 months old once, and the laundry can wait.  So can the floors.  And the dishes.  And the email.  But maybe not the bills...

Happy Nine Months!

As much time out of the oven as he spent time in the oven...

Height: 30 1/3 inches (95th percentile)
Weight: 20 pounds even (40th percentile)
Head circumference: 45.5 centimeters (50th percentile)

I love this kid.  Regardless of the fact that he still won't sleep through the night (and that's okay and normal), he makes me laugh on a daily basis.  His first word is definitely "da-da."  When I ask him, "Where's Dada?", he looks around for Nate, and when he sees him, he very quietly says, "Da-da...Da-da...Da-da."

He's getting very good at pointing to nose and ears when we ask, "Where's Mama's nose/ears?"  He'll even do it to some of the animals in his books.  He can point to the coconuts in Chicka Chicka Boom Boom when we ask.  He's a pro at turning pages when we say, "Turn the page", although he'll get excited and just start turning pages before we say to.

Weston's refining his palate, too.  Within the past few weeks, I've been amazed at how he can maneuver his tongue to spit out one chunk of pear in a mouthful of cottage cheese.  I'm not sure why he doesn't like pears as of late, but I hope that stops soon.

It's been 2 1/2 months since his last tooth came in.  He drools like crazy still, but there are no signs of anymore chompers.  And man, can that kid bite!  He drew blood on my finger last week, and my shoulder has a steady set of red imprints on it.

Lights On, Lights Off

We were getting ready to go on a walk and I laid Weston down under the light in the hallway. I wonder how long he would have laid there transfixed as I turned the lights on and off...

A Drinking Problem

Weston's practicing using a cup at dinner time. Note the stream of water pouring down the front of his shirt as he figures out how to get the spout in his mouth.

R.I.P. Microwave

I have the solid food thing down.  I steam a batch of finger foods on the weekends (carrots, sweet potato chunks, green beans, apples, etc.), freeze them, and then pull them out on an as needed basis.  Throw them in a little dish with water, pop them in the zapper for about 20 seconds, and then serve them up to my little man.  It works well, it's convenient, and it's fast.  We are doing well on solid foods!

That is, until three days ago when the microwave died.  Done.  There were occasional flickers of hope as the indicator lit up to 88:88 every couple of hours, but it was nothing more than just a last breath.  We tried banging on the door, jiggling the side, and adjusting the power cord in a vain attempt to resuscitate it, but it now sits on the kitchen floor as a giant drum for Weston to bang on as it awaits trash day next week.

"Go buy another one," you say.  I would, except that we're moving into a house within the next month and the kitchen is brand-spankin' new, complete with all appliances, including a microwave.  So, we're sucking it up and figuring out how to live life B.M.O...Before Microwave Ovens.  

At first, I panicked when all the times we use the microwave flashed through my brain.  Oatmeal in the morning, making tea, warming up water for Weston's bottles, reheating leftovers, defrosting meat because we forgot to take it out of the freezer the night before...  How are we ever going to pull this off for a month???  It was like me thinking of life without the Internet.  How would I ever find the lyrics to a song?  Directions to the nearest Target?  Movie times?  Recipes for twice-baked potatoes?

Then I remembered my dear friend Vanessa in Milwaukee.  She doesn't have a microwave, and she's actually had people over to her house for dinner on multiple occasions.  There was hope!

Steaming basket thingie

The reality is that I've been washing a lot more pots lately, but it's okay.  I'm grateful for the steaming basket thingie that we have because that's how I heat up baby's little finger foods.  Nate said making tea is a lot faster on the stove top.  Oatmeal made on the stove is way better than how it turns out in the microwave.  Sure, it takes more time to do all these things, but that's okay.  It'll make the return of the microwave next month that much more enjoyable.

Weston the Geek, Part Deux

A day at Dad's shop...

Very seriously measuring conduit whilst perched atop the CNC machine

Almost unable to contain his excitement

Two geeks, geeked out about tools and machines

Excellent explanation

After Winter Break Bummers

Yuck.  I had to go back to work last Monday after almost two weeks of 100% baby time.  It was absolutely wonderful to spend all day with Weston.  I was also very excited about not having to pump and looking forward to just breastfeeding.  Like I've said before, I am glad that I am able to continue to breastfeed Weston while I work, but pumping has certainly worn out its welcome.  It's a pain in the ass sometimes.

Anyway, as I packed my Medela Freestyle on Sunday night, I packed all four bottles thinking that after exclusively breastfeeding for 12 days, I would have copious amounts of milk to express during my first pumping session at work on Monday morning.  Since going back to work in August, I've usually been able to bring home about 10-12 ounces of expressed milk from two pumping sessions at work.  However, to my utter horror on Monday at 8:30 am, I sat looking at less than an ounce after pumping.  What??!?  What the hell had happened?  I quickly searched for other moms relating the same story on the Internet, but couldn't really find anything other than a few women talking on a forum about low milk production after taking vacation.  Fortunately, they said that their bodies regulated and once again got used to the pumping schedule.  I pumped again in the afternoon and then squeezed in one more pumping session about an hour later, but was only able to take home a bit less than 5 ounces.  Yikes!

Good news though...I've seen an increase this week, with each day yielding a little bit more, but I only brought home 7 ounces today.  Thank goodness for freezer stashes.

Happy Eight Months!

Eight months by the numbers:

• What I can't believe: that it's 2012
• Weston's percentage of the way to 1 year old: 66.7% 
• Height: ~29 inches
• Weight: 19 1/2 lbs.
• Diapers used: 1,344 diapers (can that really be true??  ~6 diapers a day x 7 days a week x 32 weeks)
• Diaper size: Holding steady at a size 3 Pampers
• Plants eaten: 0
• Plant leaves torn off and ready for mouth: at least 10
• Times slept through the night (no waking up from bedtime to wake up the following morning): 2
• Average number of times he wakes up in the night: 1.2
• Favorite time of the day: 6:00 pm--BATH TIME!
• Boxes of Cheerios consumed: still working on his 1st box
• Pajama size: 12 months
• Hours spent Skype-ing with family members: at least 4
• Top 2 Skype-ers: the Grandmas
• Average time occupied with the vacuum cleaner: about 10 minutes
• Time interested in his other toys: < 1 minute
• Interest level (1-10) with the dishwasher, cords, plants, an open refrigerator, lights, and toilet paper: 11
• Time I've spent winding toilet paper back on the roll: enough to permanently relocate it OFF of the dispenser
• Naps taken per day: 2 (very rarely will take 3)
• Teeth: 6
• Times I've been bitten while he's nursing: 2
• Eyes: 2 beautiful baby blues
• Nose: 1 Polish button
• Smiles: too many to count

Testing out blueberries (and loving his mommy)

Telling me how much he loves me!

Baby Hawk

A little bit of Nate's product makes for a spectacular hair-do

Six teeth and waiting for more!

Here's what I love about having a baby--he is an endless source of laughter for Nate and me. My current favorite is his excitement for bath time every night as he crawls completely naked as fast as he can to the bathroom, but without having his knees touch the floor.  I'd post a video, but it's a little too personal...

Happy New Year!!

No Internet

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth.  Actually, I think I have.  Our undisclosed Internet source put a password on their account a couple of weeks ago, and we no longer have the Internets here at our apartment.  I feel like I'm dying.  It's been good on some level because it's forced Weston and me to get out of the house on my winter break and go to the public library.  They have a nice toddler area in the children's section, so he can get into all sorts of messes while I catch up on the world, pay bills, send email, etc.

We're moving soon to a house (!) so we'll be getting Internets for sure then.  It's going to be a rough couple of weeks without it, but I'll make it through...

Quick update: Christmas was a blast.  Weston loved all the new toys and books, which couldn't have come a better time since he was bored with everything that he currently has.  I can't upload any pictures quite yet, but I'll get there.  Weston must have been good this year, because he got lots of love from Santa.  Grandma and Grandpa came in from Iowa and spent Christmas with us this year.  Nate and I slept in Weston's room on the futon, and that worked out okay until the last night when he finally realized that we were in there with him.  I think I slept about 2 hours that night...

Date Nights, continued

"Your life will completely change after having a baby."  I would say on some level, that's totally true.  It also doesn't change in a lot of ways.  For one, Nate and I still love going out to see a movie--we just have to be creative about how to make it happen.  My mom was in town last week (or was it two weeks ago?), so we hit her up BIG time babysit.  I think we went on three dates in the week that she was here.  We had to pick an early movie time or else I would have fallen asleep.  I also put Weston to bed a bit earlier those nights that we went out so that I didn't have to pump.

**As an aside, I love the fact that I'm still able to breastfeed Weston while I work full-time.  But, there is nothing more relieving than hanging up the breast pump bag Friday when I get home from work.  Needless to say, I loathe pumping on the weekends or anytime when I'm not at work, so I avoid it at all costs.**

I would love to be able to find a way to do date night every Saturday night with just Nate, but the reality is that a babysitter costs about $8-10 an hour (!) and having just recently moved to the area, I haven't made an effort to find a babysitter.  So, we've made Thursday afternoons Family Nights.  When I get home from work, the three of us go out somewhere--a coffee shop, for a walk, to a park, out to dinner--and just spend time as a family.  It's a good compromise for right now.