I Didn't Think Weaning Would Be So Hard...

Let me get something out in the open.  Weston is almost 15 months old, and we're still breastfeeding.  As he gets older, it gets more and more difficult to say that because I am very aware of how people I know (and society in general) think about breastfeeding past a year old, like it's some sort of freakish thing that crazy moms do.  Insert Time magazine cover here:

In fact, it's something that many moms do because they desire it and so do their toddlers.  The American Academy of Pediatrics is now on record as encouraging mothers to nurse at least one year and as long after as both mother and baby desire.  The World Health Organization recommends breast feeding for the first two years.


Despite all the claims that people make about it having no nutritional value past the first year, breast milk does indeed have lots of wonderful components (source: kellymom.com):
In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL (almost 2 cups) of breastmilk provides:

• 29% of energy requirements
• 43% of protein requirements
• 36% of calcium requirements
• 75% of vitamin A requirements
• 76% of folate requirements
• 94% of vitamin B12 requirements
• 60% of vitamin C requirements

In addition, the health value is significant:
“Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation” (Nutrition During Lactation1991; p. 134). In fact, some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process. (Lawrence & Lawrence 2011, Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991).


As a first time mom, I don't understand the negativity with breast feeding past the first year.  Last year, I had co-workers (females with no children) say, "Why are you still breastfeeding?  I guess it's okay, but as long as you stop when he starts asking for it."


A newborn baby asks to be fed... right?  What's the difference if my toddler now can use something more than crying to ask for something he wants?  Oh, and thank you very much for your uninvited opinion on how to feed my child.


Anyway, I'm going back to work in a few weeks, and I've reluctantly started the weaning process.  I know that I don't want to pump anymore, so I thought that going to two feedings (morning and evening) would be manageable.  Manageable?  Sure.  But getting there?  Not so much...  Let me tell you, it's been rough.  Emotionally.  Like depressing and unexplained sadness.  In fact, it reminds me a lot of the baby blues.  Quick google search revealed that yes!  This is normal!


"One of the changes that occurs with weaning is a drop in prolactin levels. Prolactin, the hormone that stimulates milk production, also brings with it a feeling of well-being, calmness and relaxation."


Oh, how I am feeling that prolactin and oxytocin drop!  The only time of day when I consistently feel that All is Right with the World is when I am nursing.  Weston digs it, too.  Three days ago, I dropped the feeding before first nap.  He wasn't happy about it and let me know in the form of crying and pulling at my shirt.  I've stuck to it though, and he's adjusting.  I know when we drop the before-second-nap feeding, I'll more than likely go through another bout of sadness.  And so will he.


I knew this when I got pregnant: I wanted to breastfeed.  I was going to try and make it to a year, and that goal changed to "six months is good enough" when things got rough.  We made it to six months, and I thought, "Not so bad...A year isn't that far off."  As this past May approached, I decided that I had pumped for nine friggin' months, so I was going to enjoy a summer sans pumping and complete on-demand breastfeeding--just me and my little nursling.  And now, I have this very strong feeling that I will stop breastfeeding when he and I are both ready.  I read that as when we are both ready, he is ready, or I am ready. Not when others think I'm ready.

Sick.

By some grace card that we've been dealt, Weston has been one healthy little dude for the past 14 months.  He's had a slight cold here and there, but nothing serious, other than the lead poisoning we've experienced (which, by the way, has gone down significantly to 10.6 μg/dL, so we're doing well).


All is good, until Wednesday.  I was on the phone with a friend around 4 pm, and he got super fussy and crabby all of a sudden.  I picked him up to quiet him down, and noticed that he was really hot.  I took his temperature and it read 102.3.  Yikes.  I gave him some Tylenol to bring the fever down, and it helped a bit, but he was very clingy, irritable, not really eating, and just wanted to be held.  More teeth??  Those one-year molars are a doozie...  He did okay that night with some more Tylenol, but woke up early Thursday and still had a really high fever.  That whole day, he kept putting his head down on my shoulder and was not like himself.  Oh, the whining!  He took two really good naps, but was still burning up every time the Tylenol or Ibuprofen wore off.  There were no other symptoms, and now I was beginning to suspect roseola after reading up on it.  I also remember reading a blog post from a friend whose daughter experienced the same thing as Weston.

I figured this whole illness would pass soon, and he'd be on the mend by Friday...

Not so much.  We actually ended up bringing him to the doctor on Friday afternoon because his behavior was so unusual--playing fine, but then frequently crying out as if he were in pain; not napping; eating very little.  His fever was down in the 100s, but fearing an ear infection, we took him in.

Of course, they couldn't find anything wrong with him other than a slightly inflamed throat, so we were told to keep doing what we were doing--alternating Tylenol and Ibuprofen, cool washcloths to bring down his temp, offering lots of fluids, and rest.  We put him to bed on Friday night with a dose of Tylenol.  At 12:30am, Nate was up playing online poker or something like that, and woke me up to the sound of Weston softly moaning and crying out.  We went in to check on him, and as soon as I took him out of his crib, I knew his temperature was going to be really high.  My little guy was cooking at 104.3.

I love my husband--we worked together to get him some Ibuprofen, water, cool washcloths, and we were able to bring his temperature down to 103, and he fell back asleep, but woke up again at 4:30.  Somehow, in his fever induced craze, he was able to put it together that waking up and crying in the middle of the night brings Mama in very quickly!  He fell back asleep for a little while, and the rest of the day on Saturday was a lot like the previous two days, except that I was getting more and more exhausted...  Let me say that dealing with a sick child is somehow quite similar to dealing with a newborn.

Sunday rolled around--nearly four days after the onset--and he had a rash covering much of his torso and neck.

Yup--roseola, a very common childhood virus, was the culprit.  He had a low-grade temperature, so that was improving significantly.  His appetite isn't quite back yet, and I think that has a lot to do with a sore throat, because he's hoarse.  It sounds super cute when he talks, but I know it's probably painful.  He also has some swollen lymph nodes on the back of his neck that will resolve in a week or so.


Here's to hoping that we can stave off any other illnesses for the rest of 2012!

A "Vacation"

Weston and I got back to Cinci last week after leaving about four weeks ago to drive to Wisconsin, spend time with family, and then hopping on a plane to Salt Lake City to visit my sister.  I had anxiety about traveling with a child (How's he going to nap?  Is he going to freak out on the plane, and I'll be that Mom that everyone wants to kill?  What if he refuses to take a nap at my mom's house?).  Some of it came true, some of it didn't, and the seemingly bad oftentimes had some good to it.

Con: He kept waking up at 5am at Central Time while we were in Wisconsin, no matter how early or how late we put him to bed.  Pro: I took advantage of his morning nap, and got to nap with him (like actually sleeping together in the same bed).  I haven't done that for a long time, and it was wonderful to cuddle with him.

Con: Airplanes suck.  The waiting, the cramped seats, Weston's inability to understand that he has to stay on my lap, etc. Pro: Other mothers are empathetic.  On our way back to Cincinnati from Salt Lake, we had an aisle seat in the back of the plane next to two other people.  Across the aisle was a woman, an empty seat, and a guy with the window seat.  As the number of people boarding was thinning out, the woman across the aisle turned to me and said, "Hey, it looks like no one else is going to take this seat.  Do you want to switch so that you have an empty seat?"  I looked at her like she was totally crazy for offering up her seat to me, and said, "Really??!??"  We switched under the agreement that I would "pay it forward" someday.  Absolutely!

Con: Camping with a little person is tough, especially if he's not used to it.  Weston didn't want to go to sleep the night we went--oh, the sounds of nature!-- and I finally got him to sleep at 10 pm.  He woke up at 5 am--oh, the sounds of nature!  Pro: The last time I went camping was on our 2010 Great Divide Route bike trip.  Living in a city, it's not likely that I get to stroll around at twilight, under the stars and a half moon, as hummingbirds buzz overhead.   It was totally peaceful, even as I was holding a sleepy baby, who now and again would catch a glimpse of the moon, point to it, and say, "Muh, muh."

In the tent