Happy Four Months!

I'd have official stats for you, but baby hasn't been for his four-month check up since we've moved.  Insurance at the new job doesn't kick in until next month, so we might have to visit the health department and get his second round of immunizations there.  Anyway, until I can get an official height and weight, Weston is 16 pounds, 14 ounces!  Holy crap.  It's still close to the 75% percentile curve that he's been following.  I have given up trying to measure his height because it's different every time.

Look at those thighs...

Weston's adjusting well to all the changes that have been going on.  Nate's done with a week of being a stay-at-home dad/ start-up business dude/ and unpacker of the apartment.  He generally looks exhausted and relieved at the same time when I get home from work.

I haven't worn my contacts in months

Baby has been sleeping pretty well at night, going to bed between 6:30 and 7:30 and sleeping for about 8 hours.  He's been getting up at 6am (and sometimes earlier!) and I have a pretty good feeling he doesn't really care what a weekend means to an adult.  That's fine. Having gone back to work, I relish every single moment I get to spend with him.  I love coming home from work and nursing him and then putting him down for a late afternoon snooze.  I even enjoy getting up at 3am to feed and cuddle with him.  He's super cute in the morning because he babbles and babbles and is super content.  I put him in his seat on the kitchen floor and he hangs out while I cook and eat my breakfast.

So close to sitting up all by himself 

Learning to pet Mabel gently and not grab at her fur

I'm not sure how I'm going to break his swaddle habit.  I feel like I should start on a Thursday night because it might be a little rough in the night sleeping department.  I think going cold turkey might be the best route, but who knows.  I bought the Miracle Blanket on a recommendation from another blogger mom (thanks, Melissa!) when Weston was almost 3 months old.  I cannot believe I waited that long to get one because they are the absolute best.  Weston was busting out of his swaddles regularly (and I am a damn good swaddler) at that point and I needed something that was akin to a straight jacket.  And the Miracle Blanket is just that--a warm and fuzzy baby straight jacket.  However, Weston is regularly busting out of that these days, so I think it's a good sign he's ready to be free.

Houston, We Have Lift Off!

(Oh wait, the space shuttle program no longer exists.)

My little man rolled over today!!  Sadly, I didn't witness it.  I missed it by about 45 minutes because he did it after I left for work this morning, so Grandma was Weston's audience while she was home watching him.  She said he rolled over about 15 times today, and of course, when I got home, he was a bit shy and didn't want to do it right away.  But he caved into the pressure and rolled over like a champ.  He's growing up so fast!!

Going Back to Work

I don't wanna.
I really don't wanna.
I am less than enthused about going back to work full time on Monday.  If teaching were truly a 40-hour work week, then it might be easier to swallow.  The reality of it is, though, is that teaching isn't just 40 hours a week.  It's coming in early, staying late and taking work home at night.  Yeah, yeah, we get about 2 and 1/2 months off in the summer, which could make up for it.  But I don't think it does.

Yes, I'm whining.

I'm hoping that if I whine enough, Nate will tell me, "It's okay, honey.  Don't go back to work full-time.  I'll figure it all out."

By the way, we'll really see how this blogging thing goes after working next week.  This could be the last post on the West Allis Baby Project...  I've thought of starting another blog, something along the lines of being a Midwesterner in the South...Corn Fed in the Blue Grass State.   I don't know.  I just hope that Weston doesn't end up with a twang or drawl when he starts talking.

Off to See Kentucky

We're hitting the road today--my mom, Weston and I.  It's going to be a crazy


We've arrived in Cincinnati, just north of Kentucky,


I've tried to post on the blog several times now, and I'm hoping that this time I'll actually get to finish!

As you can see, my mom, Weston and I have left Wisconsin, and are now staying in Cinci with Uncle JeffD, Nate's business partner.  I officially start work tomorrow, but we can't move into our apartment in Covington until August 31, so that's why we're here in Cinci.  Nate's back in Wisco and will be coming next week with the moving truck.

Happy in the car seat (a semi-rare occurrence)

This is the wackiest start to a school year yet.  My mom came with Weston and me because I have no childcare for him until Nate gets here.  She gets to be full-time grandma this week and next and watch him while I go back to work.  I'm very, very conflicted about going back to work.  This is a new job, new district, new age group, and new curriculum (and not to mention new accents).  Oh yeah, and I'm a new mom.  I keep wondering how in the hell this is all going to work out, especially the sleep thing.  He's been sleeping better at night, but with all the moving, driving, changing of time zones, and sleeping in unfamiliar places, Weston still isn't sleeping much longer than 5 hours straight at night.  He'll sleep for about 11 or 12 hours total, but that first stretch of sleep needs to get longer!!  I'm hoping that once we're in our apartment and in a quiet place, he'll be sleeping for 7 or 8 hours straight every night.

Note the car seat covered with a blanket in the bathtub
This is Weston's bedroom when we visit Uncle JeffD

Napping site when no one is in the apartment
(on top of Uncle JeffD's bed)

Weird.

I just remembered that I'm a mom.  I have a son.  And he's so friggin' cute.

Moving On...

I accepted a job in Covington, Kentucky yesterday afternoon as their ESL teacher in the middle and high school!  I'm a whole range of emotions--happy to be finally getting out of Wisconsin and on with the next phase of our lives.  Sad to know that I have to go back to work and leave my baby boy with a complete wacko--Nate.  Angry that I don't have the luxury of staying home full time with Weston.  Scared to start a completely new job with people that speak with a twang and refer to me as "ma'am."

But, with all the other adventures I've tackled in my life, I know I'll be able to get through it.  I have to say, though, that the challenge of being a mom is really overwhelming at times.  I think with all my other challenges (studying abroad in Spain, doing the bike trip last summer, traveling in India...to name a few) there was always a reasonable and manageable amount of time before it was over.  I've discovered with being a mom that there isn't an end in sight.  That's daunting.  On top of that, Weston is so unpredictable.  I never know how much he's going to sleep or if he's going to nurse really well.  Or what mood he'll be in when he wakes up.

I find myself doubting this motherhood gig quite frequently as of late.  I wonder why in the hell I got myself into this thing.  Why didn't I listen to other people say how hard this is and just have a child-free life?

Needless to say, I've been a little blue lately...  Perhaps it's just all the stuff that's going on besides having a baby.  My sister sent me this article to cheer me up a bit and to help me to keep remembering that I'm not the only mom who thinks that this is "too hard."  And when he's super cute like this, I cheer up instantly:

Grabbing the tootsies

So big!

By the way, I don't think this motherhood gig is not all it's cracked up to be everyday.  It's actually very infrequently that I think this.  I think it's been surfacing because in addition to all the craziness in my life as of late, Weston suddenly developed "baby ADD" these past few days while breastfeeding AND it seemed as though he forgot how to sleep more than 3 hours at night.  He would absolutely not nurse, or if he started to, he would pull off after a few seconds.  It was like all of a sudden he could see and hear every single thing that was going on around him.  This was incredibly frustrating (and painful!), and I didn't know what was wrong or what to do.  But, like any other breastfeeding problem we've come to, we've been able to push past it and figure out how to continue to make it work.

Happy Three Months!

Weston celebrated three months yesterday by sleeping, eating, laughing, and pooping.  It was great... and very typical.  He's "unofficially" 15 1/2 pounds and 26 inches tall.  He is still working on rolling over, but he's laughed out loud many times.  He also is trying to reach out to grab things (with a pretty low success rate, but we're getting better).  We've also let him watch a few Baby Einstein videos, and let me tell you, he gets SUPER excited watching them.  He's very vocal during the videos, wiggling and stomping his feet.

I cannot believe how fast he's growing up.  I still can't believe I'm a mom sometimes, either!  I'm responsible for this little mammal and will be for the next eighteen years.  He's such a good baby, and I'm thankful that parenthood is going so well.  I've adapted to the sleep deprivation, breastfeeding is pretty easy, and Nate and I have lots of fun laughing at (and with) Weston.  I am a little shocked at how much hair I'm losing, though.  I knew that it would happen, but wow, if it doesn't let up soon (it's been going on for about a week now), I'm going to have some problems!

So happy to be 3 months old!

Story time with Dad

Pretty soon this onesie from Auntie Mary and Uncle Shad won't fit anymore... :(

"I didn't do that when you were a baby..."

Last week, Nate and I went out on a Super Date--we left Weston at home with my mom at 3pm and didn't get home until 9pm.  It was wonderful!!!  We did a Super Date because we haven't been very consistent about doing our weekly date night since we moved.  I had a follow up IUD appointment in Milwaukee at 4:30 (how un-romantic), and after that was done, we went to Boswell's Books on the East Side and ordered some iced Chai teas and perused the bookstore.  I was feeling ambitious and bought a book, even though I still haven't finished The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.  Nate bought three.  Afterward, we headed over to Roots, one of our favorite restaurants in Milwaukee and had a couple of sandwiches.

When we got back home, my mom had Weston in bed already, which was good.  However, she didn't turn on the radio to Weston's favorite station: STATIC.  We let the little man have white noise when he's sleeping to help block out all the other sounds that occur in the house.  It was especially great in our apartment in 'Stallis because every step made the floor squeak and creak uncontrollably.

She said to me, "I didn't turn the radio on because I didn't do that when you were a baby.  It's silly."

I said, "Okay, that's fine.  But it helps keep outside noises from waking him up.  That's why we do it."

There are all sorts of things that our parents did with us that we would never dream of doing to our own children, and yet, somehow, we've managed to make it into adulthood.  I'm sure we'll laugh at Weston's parenting decisions, and he'll think it's a miracle that he made it out of childhood.

Baby was 12 weeks old last Thursday--I can't believe it.  Here are some recent shots of the little man:

Nate can make him laugh almost all of the time

This little boy is trying on a bunch of hats that used to be super huge on him a couple of months ago

This little hat's a bit snug...

But this little hat will accommodate his growing noggin...

First shoulder ride

His favorite activity?  Chewing on his fingers

Who Do You Think He Looks Like?

I get this question lots.  I ask it frequently, too.  Most folks say Weston looks like me, and I agree, but I think that he has subtle qualities that are Nate's.  He has long eye lashes, long legs, and long arms--none of which I possess.  Those are from his dad.

But there are some things that are the same...

Weston at two months and two weeks old

I'm not sure of my age in this picture, but it seems younger than two months

I think we have the same smile (too bad Weston doesn't have sweet older brothers)

I'm about 6 months old here, and I think Weston and I look pretty much the same

What I Didn't Know About Being a Mom

1. Sleep deprivation It's hard to predict what happens to someone after days, then weeks, and then months of getting no more than 5-6 hours of consecutive sleep at a time.  In the beginning, I was afraid I wasn't ever going to be able to sleep.  Thankfully, that's not the case.  I have to admit, though, that it's difficult for me to fall back asleep after Weston sets new records for night sleep.  For example, when he slept 7 hours the other night, I got 6, and after nursing him, I was wide awake because I hadn't gotten that much consolidated sleep in forever!
2. Cutest baby Okay, so everyone thinks that their baby is the cutest, but really, ours is the cutest.  I don't know how other people think that they have the cutest baby because we clearly own the market on that.  I even ask Nate all the time--Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?  He completely agrees with me.  I wasn't prepared for how firmly I believe that we have the cutest baby...
3. Breastfeeding gets easier It has to get easier or else no one would continue it.  There were a few times when I told Nate that I was done breastfeeding.  Thank goodness I wasn't serious.  I had mastitis when Weston was two weeks old, and then I had an over-active let down reflex which Weston and I struggled with for several weeks until my supply regulated.  For something that's so "natural," breastfeeding takes buckets of patience and energy.  I would say that it got easier for me right around 8 weeks.
4. I smell I'm serious.  I had heard stories and read stuff about women being overly pungent after having a baby, but I was not prepared for my own smell.  It's so ridiculous that I have to put on deodorant immediately after showering regardless of how well I wash.  One has to hope that this happens so that the baby can bond with its mother, but after ten weeks of stink, I'm confident Weston knows my smell.  Enough already.
5. Conflicting information I read every pregnancy book that came my way while I was pregnant.  I spent hours on the Internet reading about even more stuff that was going on with my body and with the fetus.  The information didn't differ much from one another.  After the baby came, I continued to read a lot about what was going on with him.  In fact, I might have read too much.  The problem is that all babies are different, and there are dozens of ideas about how to raise them.  I've read so many things about eating schedules, sleeping, napping, baby poop, diaper reviews, breastfeeding, and much of it differs from one source to the next.  It's quite frustrating, and I actually got worked up about it a couple of times.  It's much easier to just let it all go and have fun with the baby instead.
6. Going crazy over a schedule This relates to #5.  Because of all the stuff I've read and stories I've heard from other moms, I kept thinking that Weston was supposed to be on some sort of sleeping and feeding schedule that was predictable.  Truth is, he's not that predictable.  Patterns have emerged, but I can't pin him down to anything specific.  I am more concerned about getting him down to sleep in a timely manner than I am about feeding him, mostly due to the fact that I've discovered that he can't handle being awake more than 90 minutes.  So, I adhere to that principle and try to get him to sleep before he gets super tired and crabby.  I've noticed that he generally can go about 3 hours between feedings.  And by about 8 or 9 pm, he's ready for bed.  Other than that, we don't have a strict schedule.
7. Baby blues go away...and can come back  Sigh.  I already wrote about my version of the baby blues, thinking that they were over.  It's been my experience that they do go away and that things get better.  However, there are some...relapses.  I'm pretty sure that they have much in common with the quantity of sleep I'm getting.  Last week at 10 weeks postpartum, I had a horrible day.  I woke up feeling sad and pretty much cried the rest of the day non-stop.  I wasn't expecting it, and it caught me off guard.  It was kind of scary in the sense that I thought that I was never going to be happy again.  Of course, it passed, and I'm okay once again.
8. Other's baby stories Reading other blogs and stories of motherhood has helped me tremendously.  It's fun to hear what their babies are doing, but it's also helpful to hear about when things aren't going well.

The cutest baby

We need to invest in a kiddie pool

Traveling with Baby

Nate and I have been busy traveling this past week with Weston, and let me tell you, doing a road trip with an infant is no easy task.  I'm actually guilt-ridden about it.  We left last Friday night and drove to Davenport, Iowa around 7pm.  That trip was actually pretty easy because it was Weston's bedtime, and he slept most of the way after we stopped for dinner.  We got to Nate's mom's house, left him in the car seat, and he woke up around 3am to eat.

He enjoyed two days with Grandma Becca and Grandpa Brady, spending lots and lots of time outside.  He even went for several dips in the kiddie pool and loved it!  Because he spent so much time outside both days, he slept for 7 hours on Saturday night and 7 1/2 hours on Sunday night!!!!!  I couldn't believe it.  It was quite awesome.  He still isn't the greatest napper (he doesn't usually sleep for more than 30-40 minutes, and an hour is a good nap), but I'll happily take long nights of sleeping.

The trip from Davenport to Cincinnati was a different story...  We left Monday morning at 8am and got to Cinci at 6pm.  He slept okay in the car for the first half of the trip.  We stopped at an air-conditioned rest stop so that he could nurse and get some play time.  We sat under the shade of a tree for at least 45 minutes after he ate and played.  Then we got back in the car where he promptly fell asleep, but woke up about 30 minutes later.  He continued to wake up and doze off for the rest of the trip and cried lots.  It's so hard to watch him completely agitated and pissed off in the car seat.  I would gladly take him out of the car seat and play with him while Nate's driving (just like our parents did when we were little), but Nate won't let me break the law.

We're leaving tomorrow morning to drive to Chicago to visit my brother's family and to also have Weston meet my aunt and uncle on my dad's side.  I hope that this trip goes well.  I read a few tips on how to travel with an infant, and I think we're doing our best.  I would like to try to drive while he does his long stretch of sleeping at night, but that makes it tough on the drivers because we're driving while we should be sleeping.

Two Month Check Up

I was dreading this morning's appointment--SHOTS.  Three of them.  There's something about seeing a baby in pain that can only be understood when your own baby is actually in pain.  I've been around lots and lots of babies in my lifetime, and many of them have had runny noses, bruises, bumps, or just not been feeling well.  Weston had a runny nose last week, and I was distraught in a way that baffled me.  I felt so incredibly bad for him.  And I've been anxious for his shots today since last week sometime.  He did alright--just screamed bloody murder for about a minute and got bright red.  He calmed down after I held him close and talked calmly to him.  He whimpered in the car on the way back home, but slept pretty soundly.  I even sat in the back seat with him and stroked his head while Nate drove.  He's upstairs sleeping soundly right now, even after a long 3-hour nap this afternoon.

Let's see... he's 24 1/2 inches (98th percentile), 13 pounds 2 ounces (75th) and has an impressive head circumference of 40.5 centimeters (90th).  It's hard to believe how much he's grown in such a short amount of time.  No wonder babies sleep so much!

Foaming at the Mouth

Baby's taking a nap right now in his swing, snoozing peacefully while foaming at the mouth.  I'm glad he's such a good sleeper.  He usually will get about 4-6 hours of sleep at night; I just have to be better about going to bed right when he does!

His newborn hair has fallen out on the top of his head, leaving him with a spectacular mullet:

One crazy hair guy talking to another

I resolved the bath time issue...he gets a full bath every other night, and on the off nights, I just draw up a bath and soak him in there for a little bit.  We wash his naught bits on those nights. :)

Loving the bath

He's so close to laughing--I can't wait until he does.  He's able to hold his head up while on his tummy and move it side to side.  He's also starting to pull himself up when you hold his arms.  He loves standing and stomps his foot repeatedly.

Grandma, cousin Owen, Mom and Weston

Body After Baby

First of all, thanks to everyone that's ever said to me in the past seven weeks, "You look great!  You don't even look like you've had a baby!"  It's the nicest thing that can be said to a new mom.  (Okay, maybe "He's beautiful!" is the nicest thing that can be said.)  The point is this: Regardless if the woman really looks great or not, it's a wonderful thing to hear.

I've got to admit that shedding thirty pounds in 2 weeks is an amazing feeling.  What's tough is getting the last 10 pounds of baby weight to go.  Weston is gaining weight faster than I can lose it.  It's like a race.  By the way, he's unofficially at 12 pounds and 9 ounces and over 24 inches long.

He's not really this huge--I think it's the camera angle

Anyway, I was very diligent about going on walks for the first 5 weeks with baby.  We walked about 20-30 minutes almost every day.  Now, I've graduated to the Couch to 5K running program.  I picked this under the advice from my sister, who's an avid runner.  So far, I like it.  It's no more than 3 days of running a week, and each session takes about 25 minutes.  It's very gradual, too.  I used to run quite a bit back in the day, but never ran during pregnancy.  I tried; it just felt weird and uncomfortable.  Now things feel *almost* normal.  However, let's just say that breastfeeding puts a whole new meaning on the word "support."  If I keep at this, in two months I should be ready for a 5K and perhaps a bit closer to my pre-baby weight.

The exhausted family 

Seven Weeks

Keeping up with the blog gets harder and harder!  There's a lot going on right now--we're getting ready to move this weekend and packing up with a baby around is pretty difficult.  Every time he goes down for a nap, I try to pack as much as I can.  I'm not sure if I'm going to continue the blog after we move...  There's nothing like a bad blogger. Besides, we'll no longer be in West Allis and I can't change the domain name of this blog.

One of my friends has three boys, the youngest of which is just over 2 years old.  She let me come over and take all 15 boxes of clothes for Weston!  He's set for the next couple years as far as clothes go.  It took us about two days to sort through everything and put the clothes in bags according to size, but I'm glad that we did it.

Note baby on top of the clothes pile

He's been smiling a ton lately.  I am anxiously awaiting his first laugh.  I'm also looking forward to another full night of sleep.  That last post about sleeping through the night was a total fluke.  He hasn't done that again, but that's okay.  He *usually* sleeps about 5 hours when he goes to bed.  Why are babies so unpredictable?  I still swaddle him when he goes to sleep, and I'm hoping for the best.

So true...so true

Sleeping and Swaddling

I can't believe this.  It's 6:40 am and I just put Weston back down to sleep after having put him down for bed at 10:30pm last night.  Is this a fluke?  Or the start of something awesome?  I'm wide awake having gotten nearly six hours of uninterrupted sleep myself--"a new lease on life."  I didn't go to bed until 11 or so, and I had to get up at 4:30 to hand express to relieve the discomfort of not having nursed for so long.  But I was able to fall back asleep for a little bit before he started stirring.  Even then, though, when I changed his diaper before feeding him, he wasn't really awake.  And when he fed, he didn't really open his eyes and promptly fell back asleep after he was done.

I'm not exactly sure what it was that led to this, but I'm really leaning toward the fact that I swaddled him after his bath and put him to sleep that way.  I don't usually do that for bedtime, but now I'm thinking that I will.  He also was awake quite a bit yesterday with two good naps and then several little cat naps including one in the Bjorn and one in the stroller for about an hour each.

Our little snoozing sailor

I don't know...I'm going to try it all again tonight and see what happens.  I keep reading about the importance of a bedtime routine.  I always get hung up on the fact that babies don't need a bath more than every other day (and even that can be too much), but if I want to make bath time part of the bedtime routine, then what to do?  I'm guessing that I can just draw up a tub of warm water and put him in there and not wash him.  He absolutely LOVES bath time, and it really calms him down.

Say Cheese!

Time flies when the baby is smiling!  Weston has been smiling regularly (read: consistently enough that we know it's not gas and not a fluke) for the past week.  It's so much fun to make him smile!  For whatever reason, he usually always loves it when we clap his hands together.  I, of course, think it's the most beautiful smile I've ever seen...

Nate's making him laugh while Grandma holds him

I also had the privilege of watching him throw up the entire contents of his dinner the other day.  There's nothing more horrible than watching my baby get sick!  He heaved three times--it even came out his nose.  Surprisingly, he didn't cry.  He just looked stunned.

Four Weeks Already?

Okay... so it's June.  Weird.  Something happened to my sense of time.  May 2011 never really existed in my life because I went through it in a sleep-deprived fog.  Happily, I'm coming out of the fog and finding my groove.  Actually, Weston and I are finding our groove together.  It's not easy trying to figure out what all the various cries mean and when he wants to nurse or when he's just tired and wants to sleep.

He still loves bath time and gets super quiet and calm when I give him one.  He especially likes getting his hair washed and rinsed.  We also go on frequent walks in his stroller, and he enjoys those as long as he's fed beforehand. It's super important that we keep moving, too!  It's bizarre how he can sense when we've stopped moving.  Weston's also a swaddler--if all else fails, swaddle him in a blanket or put him in the Bjorn or Moby Wrap, walk a few laps around the apartment, and he's asleep.  Check out this video of the Happiest Baby on the Block swaddling technique that we use:



It looks brutal, but it really works if it's done correctly.  The point in making it tight is to not let them kick or squirm out of the blanket, which happens every time if I do a crappy job swaddling.

Overall, we're pretty pleased with our creation...  He'll be smiling regularly soon--I've seen a few good ones already!

Getting ready to go on a walk--it was cold outside!

Four weeks old

Meet the Family

Weston got to meet many relatives this Memorial Day weekend!  He and his cousin Liam exchanged punches and kicks in the Boppy.  Although Weston is two weeks younger than Liam, he's at least two pounds heavier!

Liam and Weston

We spent some time with my cousins' kids and the conversation was comical.  Here are some snippets from them in regards to the babies:

Shane: "Is that a real baby?"

Brandon: "Did you want to become a mom?  Why?"

The newest additions to the clan

The Low Down on the Baby Blues

Now that I am fairly certain that my case of the Baby Blues is gone, I think I'll go ahead and write about it.  First of all, I can completely understand those news stories we hear about new mothers going AWOL for days after they give birth.  Hormones are a fascinating, but very confusing, biological compound.

When we got home from the hospital on Friday, I was doing alright.  A few tears of joy, but nothing overwhelming yet.  Saturday was a different story.  I began to feel incredibly anxious.  I was afraid I was never ever going to get sleep; afraid that this whole parenting thing was a huge mistake; wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into, etc.  On top of all that, my milk hadn't come in yet, and Weston was feeding constantly.  He wouldn't sleep that well, either, mostly because it seemed as though he just wanted to nurse.  I began to feel totally batty, like I was trapped in our tiny apartment and my life was going to amount to having a baby tethered to me at all times.

Weston had finally fallen asleep mid-afternoon that Saturday, and as I was lying there in bed trying to sleep, I was overcome with tremendous anxiety about never being able to fall asleep.  My mind was literally spinning.  What a horrible place to be in!  After a 32 hour labor with only a two hour nap in there somewhere on Wednesday, I was very, very sleep deprived (as are all new mothers).  I called to Nate, who came in the bedroom, and I started crying uncontrollably.  I said that this was too hard, that I was never going to sleep again, that this was a mistake, and that I was going crazy.  He promptly got my pink flip-flops, put a hoodie on me, and sent me outside with my phone to go take a walk around the neighborhood and then call my mom.

Just like Crazy Cat Lady, but minus the cats

Outside I went, feeling like one of those psychotic ladies that roam the streets, inappropriately dressed and muttering to themselves.  The fresh air did help, and the phone call to my mom instantly helped me feel better, mostly because she related to me her struggles with her first baby.  She told me that she cried in the hospital and didn't want to take my older brother home.

That Saturday was the worst day.  For about the next two weeks, I struggled with these feelings of anxiety, even though every woman I talked to said that it passes.  I had a hard time believing that at first, but it did get better every day, even if it was only just a little.  The hardest part was in the evening, when the day was drawing to an end.  I don't know if that's because I reflected on my day and realized I hadn't accomplished anything other than feeding the baby, changing diapers, feeding myself, and not much else.  It was made worse if I hadn't left the house, so I have made it a point to get out of the house everyday, with or without the baby.

Visitors helped my mood.  I very much looked forward to having my mom come by, and I was super excited when my sister came, even though I cried every day she was here...  I also know that I need to sleep when the baby sleeps.  Of course, I can't sleep every time he's sleeping, but I try to get in at least one good nap during the day when he's napping.

The baby blues do pass.  I felt as though they were never going to go away and that I was the only mom in the world to feel the way I was feeling.  Talking to other women about it helped to lessen their strength, and I'm grateful for all those women who shared their experiences with me.

Photo Shoot

She did it again... my friend Angie of frontporch photography: (414-640-5250) came over when Weston was just over a week old and took some more pictures.  I love them!!  Here are a few of my favorites:

Our family of three

Baby and Baby Daddy

Where's the beef, Ma?

Do not disturb

This little piggy...